As a Portlander I have a responsibility to KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD, and I haven’t been doing my part. For those of you who truly know me, you’d think I’d have no problem with this simple task. (You can stop laughing now.) But in a weird place like Portland, weird becomes normal and it’s an uphill climb to outdo everyone else. As you can see, it’s quite exhausting to even think about keeping it weird, let alone doing it. So, I’ve decided to start pulling my own weight, in my own way, by creating new slogans for my beloved, albeit strange, city:
Keep Portland Beard(ed).
Ladies, you know that’s why we all moved here.
Keep Portland Geared.
We’re bike-friendly after all.
Keep Portland Cleared.
I’m not talking trees. Just talking tidy.
Keep Portland Tiered.
In case the steps of Pioneer Square are ever threatened.
Keep Portland Feared.
We’re bad-ass. And the rest of you know it.
Keep Portland Mirrored.
There must be a home decor shop that will eat this one up.
Keep Portland Cheered.
Okay, if you read this one and nodded then you are definitely not from Portland. You should stay in your sunshiny city and not threaten our gloom with your positive rays.
I’m kidding. Kind of.
[Please note: I have no plans to embody the first of these slogans, but I'll stand up for awesome brick amphitheaters any day.]
Keep Portland Sheared
-OK, this one may work against the Beard one
Keep Portland Seared
Another commercial one. I can smell the steaks from here!
Keep Portland Deered
I’m imagining bearded men, in flannel, on tractors…
and finally…
I’m not going to touch Smeared or Leered.
Both sound too messy… back to you!
Love them Michael! Especially the Deered one. So Portland. I had also thought of Schmeared (could work for a local bagel shop), but it sounded lewd, not unlike your Smeared and Leered suggestions.
My favorite is “Keep Portland Tiered”! I’m meeting my parents at Pioneer Square tomorrow. It’s the Portland landmark they are most familiar with.